Grieving silently makes me rational. The solitude of my corner (so called-room) is my bystander, my bed and pillows under the comfort of my comforter became an instant friend whenever sobs/tears trying to emerge from my eyes. In my corner, I can transpire to normal situation. No pretensions and forces from others.

Sad but true that I'm living and pretending of what I'm not! Blame it for repressing my bereavement during dad's wake. I had shown that I'm tough which makes me regret until now. It's hard to cry, whine, suggest, complain, among others things when there are people who has more predicament, which needs support and compassion, and most of all, depend on you. Besides, seeing mom like that makes me sadder.

Now, it made me speculate why some are different. How could they grief, then the next day as if nothing happened? How could they move on? Is it a matter of strategy? What is your game plan? Don’t tell me about accepting, been there done that!

Time – I don’t know? If I could buy my time, why not?

Moving on is a good way-out but don’t neglect the others and made them feel that they are excess baggage.

Sometimes, being tough is good, to fight back the egoistic Animals.